Have you ever had a pity party for yourself? You know one where you lock yourself in your room, shut the shades make sure no light comes in and cry. Or when the alarm to go to work goes off in the morning and you just want to pull the covers over your head because it seems like everything is going wrong. Motherhood and even life can be overwhelming at times.
Last year, when a friend was visiting from out of town, I fell and hit my head. I was helping my youngest son grab something from the upstairs that he was so proud to show his dad. Instead, I didn’t make it and I had a seizure and hit my head. I remember my son running to my friend for help. Then my friend puzzled at what to do next wanted to know how to handle the situation.
As a result, I ended up in the hospital and had to have my youngest son to stay with his father. I found myself laying in a hospital bed with a lot of self-pity, wondering if I was going to walk strong again or if I would be in a wheelchair. I wondered if seizures were now a part of my daily living and if I’d be able to drive. I wondered what life had in store for me.
Needless to say, it wasn’t a highlight moment of my life. I was upset with God for being sick again for having no answers to this mysterious condition that let me be what I considered to be less than a person. I remember texting a friend who told me that I wasn’t a burden and that I was in the right place at the right time. I didn’t believe it.
I was sad, broken, and a little depressed. That moment caused me to start to really dig into God’s word and find my worth. Because of that experience, I decided to take the lies that I was hearing from the enemy head-on and combat them with scripture.
Fast forward a year later, I was blessed with an excellent medical team who has helped me to learn how to manage my illness. I went through a lot of physical therapy that has helped me to be able to hold a job, write, speak, and take care of my children. I started medication which stopped my seizures.
Most of all, I learned to really trust the Lord. I learned in a year what it was like to look at the phrase Fully Rely on Christ. Learning who I am in Christ really changed my perspective and taught me to fix my eyes on Jesus, not my circumstance. Even though this isn’t always easy.
Yesterday, I hit self-pity syndrome again. A month ago, I had cast made for braces. I knew it was coming. I had talked to the doctor, I had seen the orders. I knew that I was going to move from a life of a single foot brace to AFOs. We got to the orthopedic doctor and I was okay. Then they put the braces on my legs and reality set in. These big white clunky things were now on my legs.
My heart became heavy. I even took it to my friends on Facebook to vent. It hit me. I was 41 years old and in braces.
I love to wear cute skirts, dresses, and be super girlie. To me, these braces were the end of cute dresses and the beginning of pants and looking less trendy. However, when you surround yourself with good people, you get texts like the ones that I did.
These texts were full of ideas, tips, and you know how to rock this!!
The Lord has blessed me with the best group of friends that you can ask for. As I sat at the table at McDonald’s on my lunch, I was encouraged. My friend Jolene sent me links from Trend-able.com of cute shoes, pants, and styles that would still work for me. It was through their photos of trendy clothing that didn’t look so bad, stylish shoes,, you’ve got this texts and a talk with a great friend that I slowly got out of self-pity syndrome. I remembered yet again how the Lord had carried me all through this journey. His faithfulness never ends.
I was reminded of how far I have come by the grace of God and how the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me. I knew that just because I had to get braces which slip into my shoes to help me stand up, my story wasn’t over. The Bible says in Lamentations 3:22-23 that “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
I know that the faithful love of the Lord never ends. I know that He has a plan for my life even if it is in braces. I was reminded that I can take the stage, speak to women, remind them of their worth in Him, and still sit here and type to you all. I am reminded that I am not just who I am on the outside but who God created me to be on the inside.
When I sat down and thought of all those things my self-pity syndrome faded.
So what do you do when you face discouragement and tough times?
- Stop and pray. – Even when you are angry at the Lord, He wants you to talk to him. Let Him know your feelings.
- Pull out your gratitude journal and remember where you have been and where you are going.
- Lean on your inner circle. – Those cheerleaders who are the best friends you can ask for. I’m so grateful for my squad.
- Trust the Lord. – God is faithful. He will see you through and your story isn’t over.
It’s okay to have self-pity every once in a while. You are human and things won’t always be sunshine and roses. The important thing is to get up and remember who you are and whose you are. You are a child of the King, you are not shaken or easily moved by the patterns of this world. You are bought by the blood of the Lamb. So you can walk in victory knowing that Jesus holds your life in His hands.
I hope this has encouraged you today!!