I love New Year’s Eve. It’s an opportunity to reflect back on the year, learn from our mistakes, and grow. As I sit back and look at 2017 it was a year of tremendous growth for me. It is a year that even though I walked through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. (Psalms 23:4)
I walked through a dark valley in 2017. It was one of the hardest times in my life. The year started off great. I was looking forward to bringing a new baby into this world. I was looking forward to whatever the Lord had in store. Then on January 18th, life changed. It’s amazing how life changes in an instant. We learned that our beautiful baby boy who we were happily anticipating was gone. I would go on to deliver him a few hours later after going through labor just as if I would have to bring him home. I had never walked this road before. I had never had a baby born who I didn’t bring home. I was numb.
The events that followed were even more shocking and I felt myself clawing my way back up. You see not only did a give birth to a baby from a miscarriage. But I had a seizure right before an emergency D&C. Then I don’t know what happened. I was told by the medical team that I was still alive but that I was gone.
Hearing about it was scary but what I saw when this event occurred was life changing for me. At that point in time, I needed to feel Jesus wrap his arms around me. Well He did just that. When this event occurred I saw Jesus. He took me into his loving arms and held me. He told me that I was his child and that it was not my time to die yet. My family needed me and I had a story to tell. I don’t remember all the parts of it but I remember how refreshing it felt. I had a hug from the Lord. I felt such a peace. I saw beautiful fields of flowers and such amazing colors.
Later I would wake up and tell everyone that I had seen Jesus. My husband said it was impossible because I never died. I still cannot explain it. My doctor told me a team of people swarmed my room and that I was in distress. She helped me process all that had happened. She said, “I’ll tell you more when you are ready.”
I woke up with a needle in my neck, a needle in my right arm, and a needle in my left arm. Now I’ve had IV’s before but this was over the top for even me. I was getting a four unit blood transfusion. My doctor left telling me that I was very sick. None of my labs looked normal even though they were giving me lots of blood.
I can talk about this now because God has done a great work in my life.
I have seen the faithfulness of the Lord firsthand.
The year got better. I worked hard on taking care of me, taking time for my children, and making lots of memories. My dad would later have a mini stroke while I was in the hospital. He had had a rough 2016. He lost his wife who was the love of his life. Life was a roller coaster. I decided to take a break and go home to help him. After a while, I decided to stay.
My 2017 was a rollercoaster. I won’t get into all the details because they are personal but I will tell you this. I’m thankful for the struggle because I grew closer to the Lord each day. I would journal my thoughts, study scripture, and listen to praise and worship music. This struggle would lead to writing Sunshiny Thoughts, opening this website, and starting the Sunshiny Thoughts podcast. It goes back to Romans 8:28 which is one of my favorite verses. This verse says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Your 2017 could have been messy like mine was. Take some time to count your blessings. It’s in the middle of the struggle we can see the faithfulness of the Lord.Blessings in the middle of the struggle, joy in the journey. Click To Tweet
I love how the Lord promises in Isaiah 43 that “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; I gave Ethopia and Seba in your place. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east to west.
This promise is true. Life may be messy but when you have Jesus, He walks with you, talks with you, and guides you. It is my prayer that no matter how your 2017 was that your 2018 is even better. God has great things in store for you. Click To Tweet
Life may be messy but when you have Jesus, He walks with you, talks with you, and guides you. It is my prayer that no matter how your 2017 was that your 2018 is even better. God has great things in store for you.